New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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