Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
