we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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