Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
