I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
