Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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