so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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