why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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