I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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