TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
did i just pee glitter
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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