She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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