Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
