I hope mine doesn't look like that
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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