sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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