i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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