I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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