He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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