Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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