I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
