nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
