Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
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Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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