Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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