Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
