Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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