allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
