she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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