remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
