Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
