I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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