she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Drunk walkin through police station. America
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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