i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
