I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
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