Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
