They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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