I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
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As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
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You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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