what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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