Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize