I feel like I'm in dance class right now
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
