oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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