I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
