Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize