Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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