u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
