It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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