My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
