just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
