Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
