but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize