dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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