I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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