Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
