He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
