Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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