ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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