Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
