Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
