i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
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Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
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I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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