someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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